Doing Life with your Adult Children

Doing Life with your Adult Children by Jim Burns

This book is practical in its instruction and helpful with interesting illustrations and advice that you can hang onto and implement easily in your relationship with your adult kids.  The book begs you to ask the question, “what kind of relationship do you want with your adult kids and how do I get there?”  In chapter 1 the title is “Your Fired!”  Jim writes, “Letting our children go, letting our dreams for our children go, must be counted among our necessary losses.”  And “when your children are young, they climb all over and step on your feet.  When they are older and make poor choices, t

Finding a New "Trajectory"

Finding a New Trajectory

I realized the other day that my strength in Life Coaching is giving my clients a “trajectory.”  I enjoy watching my clients reach goals that they never knew, originally, existed.  “Existed” is defined as “to have life or the functions of vitality.”

You Remembered!

Five years ago I said those cherished words... "You remembered!" "You remembered" are words that characterize that someone cares about you. They took the time to call you, send a note, bring a gift or meet you for coffee. It means you are valued by someone especially when you are going through a tough time.

Those precious two words flew out of my mouth about five years ago on Christmas Eve and this is my story.

Who Orchestrates our Thuds?

I have learned that life orchestrates our "thuds" but also God knows what is best for us to grow closer to him in the midst of our "thuds."  God does do the orchestrating of our “thuds” because he wants our total dependence on him.  Our “thuds” can also be caused by our own sin. I have prayed the prayer "help me, Lord," many times as I try to manage the unexpected "thuds" in my life.  This past year I had a Total Knee Replacement and my emotions have been a ride on a rollercoaster.  I never realized that I could be so high and so low.

Watch and Pray (Colossians 4:2; Luke 18:1; Isaiah 40:31)

Which kind a person are you? Fix and pray or watch and pray? Think about how you handle frustrating situations or unexpected heartaches. You have a close friend that is choosing poor choices that will defile her marriage. Your adult kid is making decisions that are contrary to biblical teaching. Money is tight and your commitment to your husband and family is to be a stay at home mom. The relationships in your extended family are fragmented with no easy answers to the problem. The question is do you fix and pray or watch and pray?

The Love of God

"On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you: your right hand upholds me" (Psalm 63:6-8)_

Sad Saturday

I woke up this morning on April 3rd, the day before Easter, quite depressed. The weather was stormy and the clouds were the color of "Spokane" gray. I had not been around people for a few days so my energy level was dropping but I was visiting my favorite place on earth, our cabin, in Ione, Washington. I woke up early, around 5:00 a.m., so I decided to plunge into my quiet time with the Lord. I prayed that the Lord would help me to understand what the disciples and followers of Christ felt like the day after Christ died on the cross.

The Repurposed Life

Think about the time when you were 14 to 16 years old. What kind of goals, visions and dreams did you have for your adult life? Did you want to be stock broker, a missionary, a wife and a mother staying home with your kids? What were your spiritual goals? Did you have any spiritual goals?

Hope in the Midst of a Broken World

My husband and I just returned from a trip to Houston, Texas. It has been about five in a half months since the hurricane, named Harvey, flew through the town and dumped 52 inches of water in a 24 hour period. We found the people we spent time with still wanted to process their losses and their exposure to such a devastating calamity. We heard stories of friends being rescued from their homes, alligators swimming through the streets and dangerous snakes slithering about through houses that were flooded.

Pray and Watch... and Hope

The other day I spent time with a woman whose husband has kidney cancer, her grandson has a brain tumor and she has a neurological condition where she shakes all the time. She is dealing with many circumstances where she has no control. There is no way that she can fix any of her painful heartaches. I asked her how she was doing and she said, “I am at peace, all is well with my soul...” This woman has learned to pray and watch.

My Personal God

I am here sitting in my dining room in Washougal Washington over looking the Columbia river. If I stand up and look out the window I can see Mt. Hood. Across the river is Troutdale and when the sun goes down I can see the lights flicker across the river. In the back of the house I look out over a field where hay is grown. Sometimes I see an eagle soar in the sky, sometimes I see deer walk by and sometimes I see our daughters cat, P.J., marching through the fields announcing with loud meows that she is coming home.

It's not if... It is when!

We think about "if" as we make plans for our day. "If I work out, if I eat healthy, if I read a chapter today, if I clean my house." But what we need to think is "when." "When will I work out today? When will I clean the bathroom today? When will I make that difficult phone call today?" "If" gives us an "OPT OUT" button. "When" helps us put it in the schedule and hold to the commitment.

In the midst of the mess keep seeking the Lord.

My life has been pretty messing these past several months.

  • Our move to Washougal.
  • Getting our house on the market.
  • Finding a house in Washougal.
  • College tuition, taxes and three cars broke down in one week.
  • Still dealing with an overwhelming loss of the pastorate and our church family.

The Lord spoke to me through his word a couple weeks ago.

II Chron. 20:12 - "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."

My interpretation: In the midst of the mess keep seeking the Lord.

Heart Work is Hard Work

As I have been studying the heart and living with my own heart I realize that the heart is complicated and mysterious . According to the "Dashboard" dictionary it states that "the heart regarded as the center of a person's thoughts and emotions." It is not just a muscle in the middle of our body that pumps blood throughout our system and sustains our lives. The emotional heart has many layers that have been built up over the years.

To be or not to be that is the question?

This morning I woke up to my quiet time and I read John 3:30. "He must increase, but I must decrease." John the Baptist is talking about Jesus Christ and his coming from heaven is above all. But he who is of the earth belongs to the earth and speaks in an earthly way. Jesus Christ is to be recognized as the Savior of the world and John is the one that goes before him and introduces him. But John must fade into the background.

Freedom verses Control

I have two German Shepherds. One, named Rufio, is almost 10 years old. The other dog, named Archer, is 2 1/2 years old. When we picked Rufio out of the liter he was the alpha and that means he was in charge of all the other puppies. He was the biggest and the strongest personality. Archer, on the other hand, was the smallest of the liter and he just wanted to play and have a good time. The breeders called him the “instigater.”

We forgive but it still hurts.

How do we forgive lost dreams?

I have been asking the Lord how it is we are called to forgive but it still hurts. What do we do with the hurt? We know that scripture says that if we don't forgive... God won't forgive us. Forgiveness is necessary to walk with God. Forgiveness is supernatural and it is the work of the spirit that helps us to forgive. But... what do we do with the hurt?

Fear and Loss of Control

I was on a walk today and I asked the Lord... "what is my deal with fear?" I realized over the last several years there are a few fears that have surfaced that have almost immobilized me at times. One is that my husband will lose his job. The second is that one of our other sources of income, because of the economy, will dissolve. I have other fears that I battle but today I deal with these ugly fears. I am well aware that loss happens. Believe me. Sometimes I have control of my loses and other times I have no control.

Favor with God?

This morning I was reading in the book of Luke, the story about Mary and how the angel visited her and told her she has found “favor” with God. In fact, the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found “favor” with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.” As I read the passage the word “favor” popped out at me. Mary found “favor” with God.

The Best Laid Plans of a Women go Thud

For these past two in a half months this saying "the best laid plans of women go THUD" has been my repeated phrase. My plans did not pan out like I thought they would but God had other ideas. I will give you a little history.

1. My husband and I flew to South Africa for a month to teach and encourage missionaries, ministries and friends. My "THUD" was I was diagnosed with Tick Fever and I was laid up for a few weeks.

Life Coaching

Life Coaching

Life Coaching helps women find a new passion for their life.  It can help you change patterns that are getting in the way and distracting you from succeeding and achieving your goals.    How about a new motivation to lose some weight and get into a healthier life style?   How about an ending?  You have gone through a death of a husband, loss of a child, empty nest, divorce or job loss.  Whatever is your ending, Life Coaching can help you find a new beginning.  I would love to help you move through your journey and encourage you to your next destination!

Robin Mounce

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Proverbs 14:30

I am experiencing an inner peace as I sit at our cabin and watch the gentle flakes of snow drop softly through the air.  I cannot help but notice the beauty of the snow falling on the trees and on the frozen Pend Oreille river.  The snow flakes are at rest as they gently float through the air.  I notice the Canadian geese fly purposely through the flakes of snow and they seem to not have a care in the world.  The geese are enjoying a season of smooth flying but at any moment they may fly into a blizzard or a storm where they are blindsided by the wind and freezing cold temperatures.  Isn’t

The Battle of the Rudder

The Battle of the Rudder

We have a cabin in Ione, Wa on the Pend Oreille River.  The other day a paddle boat was floating down the river and we decided to go and retrieve it and call the sheriff just in case someone lost it.  No one has called so my husband and I decided to try it and now we know why is was floating down the river.   The rudder was broken.  A friend of ours fixed it the best he could but their was still some funky way the rudder turned in order to go straight.  Mind you…  straight is the goal.

Are you nice because you are nice or are you nice because you want something?

Why are you nice?

The other day I was in Best Buy and I was working through a refund issue on a refrigerator we were purchasing. It was becoming a headache but the customer service people and I stayed with the issue and worked it through. In the process they gave me 30.00 back in rewards and 50.00 dollars back on my gift card even tho I was using it for my new purchase on a refrigerator. It is all confusing. Sorry. The bottom line is I walked away with an extra 160.00 dollars. I asked the customer service people why they were being so generous to with me. They said it was because I was being nice.

Change or Transition?

Change or Transition?

I learned in William Bridges’ book, Transitions, about the difference between “change” and “transition.”  Change is outward.  We move to one city from another.  We go to a new college.  Get married.  Open a business.  Change is outward.  Change is situational.  Change is an event.  Transition is psychological.  Transition is what happens internally from those events.  As Bridges writes, “Transition in an inner reorientation and self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life.

Confident Hope in the Psalms

Confident Hope in the Psalms

You have just received a phone call from your son and his wife has cancer.  You have a friend whose husband has had an affair and leaving his wife and family for another woman.  You have been diagnosed with breast cancer.  What about your adult child that comes to you and shares with you that they no longer believe in your Jesus.  We live in a broken world and how is it that we find hope in the midst of the uncertainty and unknown painful situations in life.  Do we mope and wander through our house feeling defeated and asking ourselves what is the point in being here on earth?  No!  The Psa

If You Want to Accomplish Something, You Have to Do It!

If You Want to Accomplish Something, You Have to Do It!

I pondered this thought the other day as I was debating whether to work out. My mind went through all the reasons why I did not need to work out that day. I know all the right arguments for being proactive and working out and I also know all the arguments for skipping the workout. I also know the process of “productive procrastination.” “Productive procrastination” is accomplishing a task, and it is important, instead of doing the task you should be doing. I may need to work out but instead I am going to clean my room, clean the refrigerator out, write a letter, pay bills.

Heart of Personal Discovery

These past few weeks I have enjoyed our Christian Life Coaching classes. I have enjoyed the reading in Gary R. Collins book. I have enjoyed the interaction with my "buddy" Laurie Pittman. I have also been enlightened by the different tests we have taken... The Christian Life Profile Assessment, our personality test - DISC, and our Spiritual Gifts test.

My initial thoughts about my personal discovery is that I am wired to Coach. I reread the "Marks of a Great Coach" and I am reaffirmed that God has designed me to Coach. The four marks of a great coach are: